(i promise. i promise to keep this post light.) one of the best things about having best friends is the push they give you. i wasn't going to write tonight, but due to the overwhelming (!) response i've received (THANK YOU! THANK YOU!)and Maryann starting my brain on overdrive, with Nancy right behind... here we go.
"If you could go back in time and meet your 16-year-old self, what three things would you tell yourself?" intriguing. but ONLY three things? no way. and, only from ONE year? not happening. so i'm taking snapshots. a few letters to myself then from myself now. maybe one to myself for the future me.
phase 1
"dear jenni....
it's 1993. you're a sophomore in high school. kurt cobain has changed the face of music (buy flannel now. eddie bower. and doc martens) speaking from future experience there are a few things you should know:
*change your name. drop the Jenni... seriously. put a stop to this right now.
*stop perming your hair. stop using aquanet. and, for the love of all thats good.. NEVER EVER use another curling iron on your bangs. you're gonna hate the pictures later, i don't care how cool you think you are now.
*see that boy there? Yes, him. Ugh, no, not him, behind him. HIM. he's gonna be your husband someday, but to be sure, do exactly what you did with him. NOTHING. don't speak more than you need to, make him smile, and leave a lasting SUBTLE impression.
*as for the rest of them, you should know mom and dad WERE right. date more, ask the boys out, and for heaven's sake: DO NOT have a serious boyfriend while you're in school. trust me....really trust me. pay attention to the guys you thought were dorks... you'll find out they are the coolest guys you've ever met.
*be nicer. buckle down for college. prepare better. know that many of these friendships will be strained, end, grow, and only the true ones will last.
*Invest in anything bill gates says. there's something called google coming in a few years... you should probably think about investing in internet programs. just looking out.
* remember the lyrics to all the songs. trust me on this.
*on that note: this guy never amounted to anything. i know that's hard to fathom.
sincerely,
you."
Phase II
"Dear jenn....
it's 2002. nice work on that name change. you're still a dork, read too much, and why is that cat soooo fat? we're not done yet. you really believe that you know everything, but trust me, 25 year old you is still ridiculously naive.... you're not such a flake, but work on your common sense. a few things to remind you of....
*chop up the credit cards. just do this. please please please. this war thing is gonna be a lot worse and the repercussions are going to be awful.
*you will kiss a lot more frogs. you will get your heart broken (it will heal). treasure the lessons you'll learn and run when those flags appear. run.
*stay up later, party more (but responsibly), take more pictures, live your life with confidence.
*the friends you make now are your friends for life. take care of them, be there for them and they'll do the same for you.
*don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum
*see these guys? you'll really learn to dislike their entire catalog.
best wishes,
you"
phase III
"dear jen....
it's 2010. 33, huh? not at all where you expected to be, right? i hear that's normal. well, congrats. after all the heartbreaks, you finally landed that guy from school. nice work. he's still hot. roll with the punches... life is gonna be easier and rougher at the same time. there's too much to say about life, but i guess that's why you have a blog. be grateful for your friends, for family, work, love and forgiveness.
and there's this. ALL of this. pay attention.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.
*Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….
*You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
