i named my brother "Jeremy" for a reason....

there's a lot in life that we can't choose. we don't have a choice in birth order, we don't have a choice in being male or female ( let's not debate here, people... just follow), we don't have a choice in how others preconceived notions will affect us, and we really can't choose the right way for a person to live their life.

there's plenty in life that we can't do anything about... i have no pull over the air conditioner being broken at work. i have nothing to do with the repaving of the parking lot. and i CERTAINLY have no say in why the temperature is 90 degrees with 87% humidity... or that you're eating in a restaurant with no air, and a torn up parking lot on such a summer day.

HOWEVER... (insert big sigh and various hand motions that i apparently do.. do i? hmm)
there's even more in our lives that we can choose. i'm the oldest child. i CHOOSE not to see my brother as a punching bag any more ( the fact that he's been a roofer and is HUGE, is neither here nor there) i now see him as my brother. and a husband, and an incredible father. i still wish he could be a punching bag. i didn't choose to be a daughter; an oldest and only daughter. but i DO choose to be the level headed one, the go to, the perpetual mediator, the eternal optimist mixed shamelessly with being the realist that i no doubt am. if you want something sugar coated form me, i'll give you a doughnut. i chose to be a wife...(some of us needed a practice run early on... but we got it the second time) for better or for worse, through sickness and in health. i CHOOSE to trust again, to open up, and to grow.... always tested, always strengthening, always loving.

i have chosen to open up to a new group of friends. this was the hardest thing i've had to do. my old friends are amazing, they GET me... no easy task for sure. they've seen the whole show, we have understandings, we have jokes, we have history. and we also have distance.... and spouses, and children, and aging parents....


i've put my faith in a whole new lot. i've joined a bible study, we're going to a marriage convention, i've opened up and been accepted for who i am. good things have come... good things will continue. even through the black pits, and dark valleys, and empty wastelands that are certainly part of CHOOSING to live....there is love. there is family. there are friends. there is God.




Jeremiah 29:11-12
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."